Train, Trust, and Let Go: How Great Leaders Build Confident Teams

 We had just hit the jackpot. A Chinese submarine crossed our path in an area where no one expected it to be. This should have been a massive win for U.S. intelligence, our ship, and us as SONAR technicians. But there was one problem: no one made the call. The submarine was only discovered in post-analysis days later. What should have been a career-defining success became a failure for our SONAR team due to hesitation and lack of confidence. One of my teammates saw the submarine—its frequencies matched, it behaved like a submarine, and all the indicators were there. But he didn’t speak up. He was afraid of being wrong.

When this failure came to light, our team had a meeting to figure out what went wrong. The teammate who had seen it was devastated. He felt like he had failed the entire crew. Our immediate supervisor didn’t help—he picked apart every mistake, repeatedly asking, “How could you miss this? I’ve shown you this a million times!” After a few minutes of this, his boss stepped in. He asked how we were being trained. The answer was obvious to all of us. Our supervisor was a doer, not a teacher. He couldn’t stand to see mistakes, so instead of letting us learn, he micromanaged and took over. The result? We lacked the confidence and knowledge to make decisions because we had never been trusted to.

At this point, you might think, “What a terrible leader!” And you’d be right—at least in this instance. But what you might not realize is that even good leaders fall into this trap. And you’re not immune to it either. If you have kids, I guarantee you’ve stepped in and done something for them because they were taking too long. If you run a business, you’ve likely taken over a task because you didn’t trust an employee to do it right. It feels like the right move in the moment, but it’s not. It is the easy way out. The answer is simple: real leadership requires patience. It’s easier to take over than to teach.

So how do we break this cycle? It takes discipline. 

Step one: provide the right training. No one becomes an expert overnight, but they need a foundation strong enough to work from. Encourage questions and never make people feel stupid for asking. If they’re afraid to ask, they’ll be afraid to act. 

Step two: let go. You have to trust the people you train. Set expectations clearly and then step back. Resist the urge to jump in. 

Step three: debrief. Go over the work. Point out successes and failures. Then, instead of just pointing out what went wrong, show them how to do better.

Follow these steps, and I guarantee you’ll build a team that has the knowledge and confidence to make the call.